A Case for a Pseudonym

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     Lately I have been getting some feedback/questions about my use of a pseudonym.  Some think that it is silly of me to hide my personal identity, and physical features and assure me that, "one of these days you will grow comfortable with yourself."  Others simply want to see what I look like, and think it would be more personal to know my name, and to have my age posted somewhere.  Some people have accepted this and others are a little bit more desirous for me to change my view on this.

     I would like to first attest to the realness of my blog.  Everything I post is truly my thoughts.  I am very comfortable with my self. I share my opinions, emotions, views, and (dare I say it) bits of my soul with you.  I am perfectly honest. Nothing I post is "fake" or said to conjure up more views.  Just because I go by "The Damsel" and I choose not to show my face, that doesn't mean I am hiding my mind or heart.

     The main reason I chose to adopt a pseudonym and not present pictures of myself on my blog, or any other linked profiles, is because I wished to keep away distraction.  There are two sides to this.

     The first being, that I don't want myself to leave off on writing. I don't want to slide into doing a "selfie blog" or something similar.  Compliments are very appealing to me.  I love to be called beautiful, or thought attractive.  Sometimes (on personal social media accounts) I find myself caught up in how many "likes" a picture will gain.  I occasionally catch myself thinking of how I could have received more "likes" if I had done something different with my hair, or the lighting.  I think this is something others can maybe relate to as well.  However, despite the naturalness of such feelings, I don't want to get caught in that kind of thinking.  Not here, where my goal is to try and share my thoughts and ideas in a well spoken manner.

     This leads to the other side of distraction.  I don't want my physical self to distract readers from the content I provide. When you come to read I want you to read my words and not to get caught up in physicality's.  Gender is pronounced by my pen name.  But I leave my race, exact age, hair color, height, and anything else physical up in the air.  From my writing you may be able to gain a general sense of who is behind the words.  However an exact portrait of myself, and my physical attributes are not presented.  I want you, as my reader, to follow me because you thought I portrayed, or said something well. Not because I have a decently nice body; or because it is correct for those in my culture to think a certain way.

     In essence, I chose pseudonymity because I don't want to feel the distraction of pride.  I choose a pseudonym because I want you, the reader, to take in the words, thoughts, and ideas portrayed.

On "Sex Appeal"

See gossamerlens.com to stay up-to-date with the blog.

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     Over the last 16 years, I have been raised in a culture where modesty is important.  Because of being a "Mormon" I am almost hyper aware of how I dress or come across.  My parents raised me to see that my body was something sacred and not to be flaunted before the world.

     Now something I find hard, in this world that I grow up in, is that modesty is something that is not taken for granted, or expected.  This I understand.  Most of the time cultures lacking my standards is fine.  The world may be what it will, I will still be me.  However, something I do take issue with and find offensive is the prevalence of online images made to be immodest and sensual.  I am not talking necessarily about pornography, or explicit images.  I am simply talking about all the fandom made images, video game characters, genera models, advertising in general, and media in which the woman are obviously there for sex appeal.

     I find it hard to be barraged constantly by pictures of singers, actresses, models and "sexy" video game characters.  Through these pictures woman are told many different things.  When a friend says, "I just love playing this character!" and proceeds to show you pictures of a tall looking woman who has large breasts, an abnormally thin waist, and a large... rump, I can't help wincing. Then to see this character, with the body proportions that men seem to want, fighting battles and doing it while in a skin tight dress is more then disheartening.

     The problem for me is that even if you aren't viewing porn you see women being objectified online ALL the time.  This leads me to wonder how a real relationship will ever work in the future.  As a Mormon, I am who I am, people may objectify me in their own minds, but I shall never let myself be used as an object.  However, I still feel a pang knowing I can never measure up to what is portrayed online and in our larger American culture.  I am a real girl, and as such I have hair that doesn't look silky, and when the wind blows it all wants to go into my mouth.  I am average height exactly, my curves aren't even in the range of online gaming characters curves, I wear normal clothes,  and I don't fight monsters... and the thing is it hurts.  Through these images I see what many males would consider the "ideal" woman, and I am far from it body wise, activity wise, and not to mention dress wise.

     I have nothing against gaming (in moderation).  I have nothing against woman being allowed to dress how they will.  I do take issue with the fact that I can see how easily it would be to "undress" many video game characters.  I find it hard to believe that any man will seek for a worthwhile, and meaningful relationship in the future, because why should he?  Why should you go for the real thing, when the fake thing has everything you'd like to see and is so much less work?  Because of media and gaming I at least feel a layer of distress, and stress added to my life as I watch my friends spend hours playing with these "perfectly" formed and appealing characters.

     No woman is just her body, and I find it unfortunate that inadvertently boys and men put such stress on the physical.