Something Beyond "Self"

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     Sitting, we share poetry.  Bits and pieces of our souls are spilled into the air of our local library, at an open mic event.  Sifting through lines of varying shades of "good."  We listen.  Looking at the faces of those laughing, crying, and stoic... I saw and I learned.

     Pain is life.  For everyone it brings its own sting.  Some experience the loss of a parent, grandparent, child, or friend.  Others experience being abused by someone you should be able to trust.  For some the greatest pain is hate of oneself.  For still others being shunned by peers and experiencing bullying is apart of life.  We all hurt, and it is all different.  Even if you meet someone who has gone through the same circumstance as you, their experience is different.

     For many of us in the world we cling to a higher power, something beyond ourselves.  Not only christians do this, but Hindu, Islamic, and Buddhist religions look towards higher beings.  Even those who don't believe in a God or supreme being(s) sometimes turn to science as a a higher source of truth.  However, we sometimes forget to look beside us.  Debates arise between people, and we set up walls and barriers.  We claim our pain as ours.  Sometimes it is what makes us feel "unique."  But pain is one of the things that should really bind us.

     Yes, a mother loosing her teenage daughter to a marriage full of abuse, and loneliness is different then a mother who watches her child move from California to New York.  However, they are both mothers.  Even if they cannot empathize, they can sympathize.  We can hold each other, wipe tears, offer solace and simply... be there. We should look at each other as what we are, human.  We are connected.

     Those I shared my pain with, they didn't make a big deal, they didn't see me cry.  But they looked into my eyes, and saw me.  The walls that could have stood (my religion, gender attraction, schooling differences, dress, and appearance) were broken down between us.  Maybe not forever, but for that moment. And that moment matters.

Will We Ever Heal?

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     The other day, nearing the end of my chemistry class, a friend of mine pulled out his phone and then laughed.  Being the naturally inquisitive person I am, I asked what was funny.  My friend began by explaining that on Twitter there is an anonymous feed called "yik yak."  Then he asked "You know how all the Black people sit on the bench at the top of the stairs? Right next to the entrance?"  Without waiting for a response he read what someone had said over yik yak.

     A nameless user of yik yak had written, "Did you see that slave auction at the top of the stairs?"

     I'm not sure how to describe my distress.  Not only was I chagrined (to put it lightly) that someone would say such a thing, however I also felt anguish over the fact that this friend of mine could find such an offensive thing funny.  I felt truly miserable because when he read it out loud I was one of only a handful that seemed to think it inappropriate.  At least 7 others (in a class of 20) laughed out loud, and no one but me and one other, said we thought it a disgusting thing to say.

     This experience was something that really affected me.  I think that it isn't so much just because I was disappointed with my friends (in this instance), but more so because it made me think on a bigger scale.

     In the 1870's our country, America, passed the 15th amendment.  This amendment gave African American's the right to vote.  Sadly, at that point, though the law allowed for them to vote, many states set up events, laws, or scare tactics to keep them from the voting booths.  Now I think it is safe to say that those obstacles and issues have been removed.  However, how well do we maintain equality?

     I don't think anyone in my chemistry class would say African American's shouldn't vote.  I think that the person who posted anonymously on yik yak wouldn't say such a thing to their fellow students face.  This being said, on some level, equality was not shown in this instance.

     Our country is a healing one.  America began as the land of the "free."  All better off white males were free.  Our young nation has improved and exemplified this statement more fully over the last few centuries. By giving African Americans, women, and average citizens legal rights, and many social rights as well. However, it clearly has more room to grow.  Though the laws reflect equality I think we have yet to gain an equal and free minded nation overall.

     I hope that someday such rude and cruel things will not be said at all, much less received in such a disgusting bout of mirth.